when I started to play elvenar I had those romantic ideas too,
but there is to much put into nonverbal communication I think - it doesn't work.
writing mails with that uncomfortable mailsystem does work seldom too.
Perhaps that is, because you sometimes don't get an alert if somebody writes or answers (that is what I discovered)
and second because of languageproblems
and third because of problems with social gameplaying
and forth because of not understanding the basic mechanics
all together the neighborthing didn't work for most players,
but I know there are some who are lucky to have very active neighbors -
and perhaps this game is more an exclusive game for lucky starters?