How about a group of magic flying swords that I control with my Will. Also I summon spritits of the dead to keep you busy while I stealthily shoot you with my trusty Bow of Skorm.
My Hill
The aardvark summons his storm trooper aardvarks, armed with the magic flying swords, magic bows, spirits of the dead, and the flag banner of Donald Trump, takes the hill.
I do not fear storm troopers. They always miss. I use lightning and call on my hero friends at the Heroes Guild to stop the minions. Even the Guildmaster helps, he is a man with powers beyond your imaginations and silences every bit of magic you have.
My Hill
Ork, king of the Royal Mounted Aardvarks, summons his allies! At the beginning of dawn, one can see legions upon legions of angry, rabid
meerkats and mindless, neurotic flying squirrels assault the hill. Drialik and the Guildmaster flee in terror to exile themselves in New Jersey.
I would never go into exile freely. Since you began about little rodents I have something special for you. They are hunted by larger mammals like cats and dogs. With a few dragons to roast anything left alive by dogs and cats.
My Hill
Ork, defeated again, asks Donald Trump, Defender of the Realm, Keeper of the Faith, Father of Dragons, as to which course of action to take. He suggests the use of the secret weapon: The RAF. The Romantically Aromatic Ferrets storm the hill by the millions. Ork declares: My Hill !
Snakes! Tiny and large snakes. Boa constrictors and green tree snakes. Poisonous and not poisonous, with fangs or without. There are hundreds of million that slither on my hill blocking the way of your ferrets.
I even decided to create a large flag.
It's main color (Background) is green.
And on it are five wavy yellow line representing snakes.
My Hill
Okay snakes are unsuccesful and now I am in danger.
I decide to use an army of tanks which the snakes can't enter. Then I blow you up when I am at the top.
My Hill